Valley of the Sun - Deadlands

Quotes 02/11

Bentley – Okay… And this guy…
Cid – Explodes

Bentley – Roll a notice at minus 4
Foy – No… That’s a critical failure
Burke – We peak in at McCloud and he’s flailed out and snoring

Bentley – You wake up being strangled
Burke – That’s not the first time

Cid – I cast barrier
Burke – Ooh. So he summons a bear…
Evee – Suddenly I start disappearing and reappear with Cid as a bear… Wha?

Burke – Go ahead lick that wall
Evee & Foy – Eww
Burke – It’s like Willy wanka
Evee – It tastes like scnozberries

Foy – I’m going to pull out my pistol (makes zipper noise) zzzz
Evee – Hey that’s not your pistol put that away!
Burke – It’s more like a deringer

Foy – I’m gonna finish this guy off…
(Burke snickers)
Foy – With the right hand of McCloud

Evee – Oh he shot prematurely…
Cid – McCloud recognizes that move
Bentley – Sounds like a McCloud move
Burke – McCloud is teaching all the bad guys

Foy – I’m gonna go join the other group
Evee – Nah you’d miss us…
Bentley – He comes back three minutes later… “They sent me back”

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Quotes 02/06

02/04

Evee – I’m not writing bull cheese down…
Bentley – That’s a quote! Now you have to… The irony

Bentley – He says hello back in broken English
Evee – So he says herro?

Cid – I could play the critically fail card
But you helped me succeed
(Sarcastically demonstrating a critical failure) I’m sneaking in I’m sneaking in I made it!

Bentley – (to Clint) Your persuasion has gone down
Burke – I’m not sure what that’ll do…
Evee – Suddenly you’re just a little less likable… He just grew a wart on his face
Burke – No now he sounds like Mickey Mouse

Foy – Everybody’s about to get the right hand of McCloud
Evee – Eww..
Burke – You hear everybody unzipping
Evee – You washed that hand right? Eww why is it all sticky?

Foy – Now prepare for my left hand
Evee – Eww…
Burke – Using both hands tonight
Foy – My left hand was better than my right

Evee – I’m going to attack him since he hurt him
Burke – They hurt your Clint! They abused your Clint!
Evee – I’m just being loyal

Bentley – You see what looks like a worm on deck
Burke – Oh I thought it was McCloud…
Evee – If McCloud looks like a worm there’s something wrong

Foy – He eats the food… He wakes up a little later tied down and naked “aww not again”
Evee – No he thinks this is his favorite dream but after awhile he realizes the girls would be here by now

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Quotes 01/28

Burke – I said funny stuff you just don’t write that down
Evee – It’s usually one offs and I don’t right those down
Bentley – McCloud knows all about one offs
Foy – That’s right… Wait…

Burke – So we find guns and
Evee – Roses
Burke – Did you just say roses?
Evee – Yeah you know guns and Roses… Like the band
Bentley – I’m going to roll to determine my reaction to your joke…. (Rolls badly)
Burke – He’s crying

Bentley – You hear a kid…
Evee – Oh my gosh there’s a kid
Burke – That’s not a kid… That’s McCloud

Burke – We don’t want new horses I like my horse, I know she wants her horse (points to Kimi) and we all know how much he loves his horse (McCloud)
(Foy looks at Evee)
Evee – What I didn’t say it
Foy – But you were thinking it

Bentley – Make sure there’s no funny business
Cid – McCloud no funny business?
Evee – McCloud is funny business
Bentley – I didn’t say that…
Evee – No I did
Foy – Look she’s proud… I don’t know why

Evee – (about Cid) Okay my turn, I’m assuming he gets off
Burke – I don’t know, did you?
Evee – Oh… Oops… He dismounts… No that’s worst… He’s over there!

Evee – So we’re going?
Burke – Yeah
Evee – Howsie
Burke – What did you just say?
Evee – Nothing…
Burke – You said something
Evee – I said horsie…
Cid – That’s not what I heard…
Burke – Me either
Bentley – Wait what she say?
Evee – I said horsie but without the r like howsie..
Burke – Yeah sure… She’s excited for something to happen in the next town…
Cid – Or she’s talking about another animal

Evee – I’m legendary. I can turn into a Dragon now… Literally
Cid – … No…
Evee – Well not literally like in real life
Cid – (Flapping) I’m a Dragon
Evee – Apparently I don’t know what literally means
Burke – I don’t think that word means what you think it means

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01/21

(Not a lot this week… I know)

McCloud – What fun is in the devils armpit
Evee – McCloud would know

Evee – (McCloud) I’m gonna start calling you quagmire… Giggidy
Cid – … Goo

Bentley – He’s the only one who’s legendary
Cid – Yeah it is the McCloud show. He’s got a legendary reputation and a mythical weapon…
Foy – And a great horse
Cid – That’s why your legendary…
Evee – Wrong legend

Evee – Go constrain him McCloud
Foy – Mmmm

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Quotes 01/07

Quotes 01/07

Foy – One more point and I’m legendary
Bentley – Assuming you don’t lose points
Foy – Wait are there negative points?
Evee – For you McCloud… Yes.

(Talking about how to get into Kong)
Bentley – (to Cid)What are you going to do?
Foy – Flash him?
Bentley – No, that’s what McCloud would do.

Bentley – Have you ever had general Tsaos bison bits?
Burke – That’s not technically Chinese
Bentley – Well the history is not our own
Cid – So now it’s general kangs bison bits

Burke – We show up at the insane asylum and they all just dog pile on top of him (points to McCloud)
Cid – At least this time he has his pants on

Evee – Awe can’t we just leave McCloud in there?
Foy – No you can’t just leave McCloud in there…
Evee – Well I suppose Cid is in there… And he’s useful

Bentley – The door slams shut behind you
Burke – We hear a high pitched scream and McCloud is banging on the door
I didn’t actually hear the door slam…
That’s okay McCloud is panicking enough for both of you

Bentley – These guys have sharp teeth
Evee – Freaking vampires
Foy – Well doctors are blood suckers
Bentley – Those are lawyers
Evee – Says the doctor

Evee – You don’t even know if they would have attacked you
Burke – That’s true
Foy – They were grotesque
Evee – So you’re killing them because they’re ugly?
Foy – Exactly I’m putting them out of they’re misery
Evee – That’s so shallow…
Foy – Duh

Burke – Your boobs need to shine up… Your boobs aren’t shiny enough for Bentley

Evee – We open the door "McCloud where are your pants?
Burke – And he’s a priest

Bentley – McCloud is shining his Bob’s
Burke – And he shot his load the second the doors closed

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Quotes 11-6

Bentley – So which one of you is the deputy which one is the Marshall
Kimi – (Points to DJ)
McCloud – Hey…

McCloud – Well i was going to suggest DJ be the Marshall but Kimi just pissed me off
Kimi – Meh that’s not very different

Bentley – Premature election
Burke – You’ve just been waiting to say that haven’t you
Bentley – No it just pops up
Burke – … Early?

Bentley – They cheer for the mayor and his cat…
Cid – Good kitty?
Evee – About time some recognition

Drunk man – Where’s the city hall?
Cid – Through that wall
Drunk man – Okay! (Runs into the wall)

Bentley – Who appointed you as Marshall?
Burke – The mayor (points to Cid)
Bentley – And who appointed you?
Cid – I’d tell you but she’s on lunch

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Quotes 11-5

Evee – Ugh this is really spicy… Are you trying to kill me
McCloud – That’s how i roll
Evee – McCloud is trying to kill me with his turkey stick

Bentley – He’s gonna un shake
Cid – Nope
McCloud – You got power
Burke – The power of denial
Evee – … Denied

Bentley – (to Cid) He’s gonna shoot you
Cid – No…
Bentley – (Rolls and fails) i bought you, you should listen to me not him (talking to his dice)

(Burke rolls several explosions)
Bentley – (Talking to his dice) see that? Do that!

Evee – (talking about healing McCloud) Okay I’m gonna go do him…
Burke – Eww in front of everyone?
Evee – Eww… No

Evee – (talking about Kimi))Of course she’s wanted… Ok at her. (McCloud looks at get weird) Don’t look at me like that, McCloud had been chasing get tail since she joined the group
Burke – To be fair he chases everybody’s tail. How often did he wake up with Wang in his hands?
Bentley – That’s handy
Cid – He’s got the cow poke

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Quotes 10/29

Bentley – I need one of those dinosaurs to squeeze and move things
Cid – I must not be as old as you… I’ve never squeezed a dinosaur

Evee – I vote for the shaft!
… That’s a quote in itself

Well at least this time no one got… The shaft… Hahaha
I’m pumped…
What else do you do with the shaft

Evee – There i healed him
Cid – Come, touch the leg with us…
McCloud – Hey not that leg!
Evee – That’s wishful thinking McCloud

Bentley – So are we going to Tijuano?
McCloud – Yes!
Burke – What are you expecting to happen?

McCloud – We need to do the strange
Clint – I can’t understand you when you talk like that…
McCloud – You need a better hearing aid
Clint – Oh i can hear you… I just don’t understand

Bentley – You can help your self to jerky
(To McCloud) You can jerk as much as you want
McCloud – i could do that for free
Bentley – but this is quality…

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Quotes 10/16

(Burke plays the shaft)
Foy – me on the way to work
Bentley – You go to work I your black leather jacket?
Cid – And a black leather apron

Evee – I could get a bunch of rats to help me
Foy – Oh like secret of nymph
Evee – i think that’s the wrong movie

Bentley – There seems to be a well or a shaft I the center
Evee – Just can’t stay away from those shafts…
Burke – Bentley likes shafts in his game

Evee – I could be in the barrel…
Cid – … Surprise! Happy birthday!

Burke – You have good persuasion
Cid – D8 + 2
Evee – So you do the talking and don’t let them talk to those two
Foy – Just make sure it’s in Spanish
Cid – Oui

Cid – I’m holding onto my head…
Foy – My ankle!
Evee – Someone forgot how to Spanish…

Bentley – McCloud needs his barrels
Cid – (Cid moves a couple of barrels onto the map)
Burke – There you go, prefect size

Burke – You could just smite the leg and I’ll beat the crap out of him with it… Then i can say “you kicked your own ass”

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Quotes 10/15

Evee – (talking about cards) Does this include my extra?
Burke – You get an extra?
Evee – Yeah I’m still being hunted by that woman remember?
Foy – I wanna be hunted by a woman…

Bentley – You see a man run down the shaft
Foy – That sounds like a country song
Barry – (Sings) A man ran down my shaft
Oh god…
Bentley – Hey we keep it pg…
Burke – Since when?
Evee – Tell that to wang

Evee – So is McCloud our caboose
Burke – No i think your wolf is… Somebody has to keep an eye on McCloud
Evee – Every now and then he nips him in the butt
McCloud – Kimi can you get control of your damn dog
Kimi – snickers like muttley

Burke – Once you go McCloud, you’ll never be proud
McCloud – No, no. Don’t write that down

Burke – How many copies of candy land do you need?
Evee – Apparently two
Clint – Enough to give us diabetes

Evee – I could just turn into a bat and give them all rabies…
Bentley – It only takes a couple weeks…
Evee – Isn’t that considered chemical warfare?

Burke – So you going bear
Evee – Yup, I’m going bear
Foy – (McCloud looks excited) let’s see then
Evee – I’m going bear. B-e-a-r. Not bare. B-a-r-e
Foy – Awe

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