Valley of the Sun - Deadlands

Quotes 1/28/17

(the professor informs the GM of 2 more dementias)
Bentley- (to Barry) hold that thought
Sid – or lack there of…

Bentley – is there an echo in here?
Burke/DJ – …what?
Bentley – is there an echo in here?

Wang makes a triumphant return… Along with his jokes. The tally marks return.

Burke – 24
Barry – 11
Evee – 8
Dan – 5
Bentley – 3
Sid – 1
Foy – 1

Dan – (taking responsibility for the return of the Wang… Jokes) I blame myself
Burke – we blame you too

Dan -it’s not easy being green
Evee – or light brown in your case
Dan – or red in your case

Bentley – did everyone make their spirit role?
Burke – we got spirit!
Everyone – yes we do!

(Kimi has to make a vigor role to keep from getting diseased)
Sid – don’t you usually get diseases from McCloud? (to Evee, who is offended at this accusation)
Evee – we went over this last week, only in his dreams

Evee – McCloud’s on fire today…
Sid – you wish…
Evee – not really

(the train the group is on is invaded again by train robbers, one of which is holding a bag to collect money. Two of the men run away)
Bentley – he’s left holding the bag…
Burke/DJ – hmm… How much money do YOU have?

Burke/DJ – (to Kimi) maybe you can get a group rate with the professor to see a therapist…
Evee/kimi – No, the professor is crazy!
Everybody laughs

Bentley – so this sounds like a dramatic task from the professor…
Everybody else – groans

Bentley – you’ll remember this for the rest of your life
Evee – which is only the next 2 minutes

Bentley – we need a quote with sparkleface
Foy – friendship is magic! explosion

Foy – you’re not sparkleface, get away from me!
Barry – he’s a one horse man

Evee – we both exploded (her and Sid)
Burke – yeah their hands touched and they had a magic moment. Do you two need a cigarette?

Quotes 1/22/17

Bentley – make a fear check at -4
Evee – minus 4?!
Bentley – well, it’s a big demon
Evee – shouldn’t we get a bonus, we hang out with Maddie…

Burke – (after developing a phobia of the demon) anyone in their right mind, excluding Maddie, would be afraid of a demon.

(after failing his guts check against the demon, the wolf runs and hides behind Maddie)
DJ – shouldn’t you be hiding behind your daughter?
Kimi – you’re making better roles than me
DJ – oh yeah, I’m actually competent.
Kimi – hey!

Burke – (realizing he shot the wrong thing) oh yeah, I was supposed to shoot that guy. Sorry, my demon phobia took over.
Evee – he should get a benny for that
Bentley – if he had said it during his turn I would have
Evee – but it’s funnier that he said it now…

Evee – well, she likes DJ…
Foy – but fancies McCloud
Evee/Kimi – only in your dreams McCloud
Foy – so he wins either way! It’s only a matter of time…

McCloud – I could just dump holy water and then give him a hug
Burke – go for it…
Evee – show him a lesson
Sid – he’s got practice from pouring oil all over himself
McCloud – only this time it’s free
Evee – you mean you won’t have to pay this time?

Evee – we keep forgetting about size
Bentley – well size matters
Evee – yeah, but McCloud might disagree with that…

Sid – you could shoot the gun through the holy water, that way it splashes all over
Evee – yeah, but then it would splash him and McCloud would be burning
Burke – and if Maddie was around, she’d be burning
McCloud – everyone would be burning
Evee – … Except me
Burke – and me…

Evee – yeah, he took it
Burke – just like McCloud…

McCloud – we could uber horses
Burke – sure, dial them up

Bentley – you might be able to get some townfolk on your side
Sid – so we’re going to riot the townsfolk!

McCloud – it’s the sand people
Burke – (makes sand people noises)
Bentley – (to Sid) see what I have to deal with?
Burke – (to Sid) yeah, start helping!

Bentley – (after shooting and missing) that was a warning shot…
Sid – (shoots and kills the guy) that’s my warning shot…

McCloud – Awe, you’re wounded too?
Burke – yeah but he’s not whining about it…
Sid – and I lost an arm (after the figure actually lost an arm)

Quotes 1/15/17

Foy is pouting because of the heavy McCloud bashing from the week before
Bentley – You could wind up with a happy ending McCloud…

Foy/McCloud – (in response to crowding Evee with his stuff) I’ll put my junk anywhere I want!

Foy/McCloud – Oh no, you’re on fire. Quick, take off your clothes! (to Kimi… more attempts)
Evee/Kimi – That’s your solution to everything
Burke/DJ – Only when it comes to you

Risa/Maddie – (to Foy returning from getting a drink) You left and you decided to take your clothes off
Foy/McCloud – That’s a great bonus for everyone
Burke/DJ – No, we’re all blinded
Evee/Kimi – Everybody, make a guts check
Burke/DJ – Can I choose to fail and vomit?

Bentley – (in an attempt to attack McCloud) Double ones, it stalls
Foy/McCloud – He can’t handle McCloud’s awesomeness!

Bentley – Kimi suffers 9 damage
Foy/McCloud – Watch out Kimi! (he says a beat too late)
Evee/Kimi – … thanks for the warning, it’s great having McCloud behind my back
Burke/DJ – More like on your back… like a monkey
Evee/Kimi – or a dog

Bentley – You hit him, and your knife begins to glow red
Burke/DJ – … and starts to melt, burning your arm, setting him on fire! (In response to McCloud causing damage)

Bentley – (trying to decide on who to attack) He’ll attack Kimi if he makes his smarts roll… which he didn’t, so he’ll attack McCloud.
Foy/McCloud – wait, what?
Evee/Kimi – yeah, he’s not smart enough to go after the real threat apparently…

Evee/Kimi – I’m gonna whack him…
Burke/DJ – She already got to second base?
Risa/Maddie – yeah, with a tomahawk
Burke/DJ – …ouch

McCloud hits the monster with a raise and does a whopping five damage.
Evee/Kimi – you tickled him, he goes ‘tee hee’ and decides your no longer worth his time.

Bentley – (upon returning to the town, McCloud winds up in the store where a horde of bees were last seen) Because of your amazing fortitude…
Burke – and manly body odor…
Bentley – You manage to escape the bees

Bentley – you see something bound in leather
Risa/Maddie – Leather?
Evee/Kimi – (Sarcastically) can you tell if it’ll fit Maddie?

Bentley – they reach under their robes and pull out clubs
Evee/Kimi – what else are they hiding under their robes?
Burke/DJ – he already told you, their clubs…

(hope everyone enjoys the quotes, see you tomorrow!)

Quotes 1/8/17

Sorry for the late post everyone! Here are the quotes!

Foy/McCloud – Oh, we’re so close, we could be kissing
Risa/Maddie – McCloud will kiss anybody
Evee/Kimi – Spreading his diseases…

Evee – (in reference to the scenario set up) this look like the beginning to a bad joke…
Burke – An Indian shaman and a demon born walk into a church…

Risa/Maddie – (talking about a crypt as we walked past) And what does it say? “Here lies Fred, he is dead.”

Foy/McCloud – I’m tired of being shaken…
Evee/Kimi – Awe, poor McCloud, do you want your mirror?
Risa/Maddie – And his diary…
(so he can make himself feel better, of course)

Foy – (to Evee with that “Foy” look) why are you against me all of a sudden?
Burke and Evee – All of a sudden?

Bentley – (describing the hotel room that Maddie spent good money on) There’s a bed, moth covered with no pillows or sheets…
Risa/Maddie – What?! I need a feathered pillow!
Evee – She’s gonna go complain to the manager…

Bentley – (in reference to Kimi doing something odd) Delusional
Evee – That I am… (upon realizing what she’s said) not me! I mean her! My character… (facepalm)

Foy/McCloud – But… I lost a benny.
Burke/DJ – You didn’t lose it, you know where it went

Evee/Kimi – McCloud has a hard time getting his gun out…
Risa/Maddie – He doesn’t know if he’s out…
Evee/Kimi – … you mean, he doesn’t know if he’s in…

Bentley – well, you’re curious (to Risa… and you (to McCloud) are you staying up… or?
McCloud – I’m bi-curious

Foy/McCloud – Should we split up
Burke/DJ – No thanks, Shaggy
Risa/Maddie – Yeah and take Scooby
Wolf/Kimi – huh?! (looking appalled at the idea)
Risa/Maddie – Would you do it for a Wolfie snack? (It’s probably a squirrel >.>)

Evee – (After a bad pun from Burke of all people) We may be rubbing off on them, but he’s rubbing off on you…
Burke – (to Bentley) Don’t be rubbing off on me!

Burke/DJ 0 So you want to possess us?
Bentley – (as mining ghosts) possess is a powerful and dark word…
Risa/Maddie – I’m already taken…
Bentley/Minors – We don’t want you…

Foy/McCloud – Should I use my big gone?
Bentley – … If you can find it

(There is SO much McCloud bashing here… it is hilarious, but just a quick note from the scribe, we tease with love… See everyone soon. Evee)

Through the Blood Pool

Quote of the game:

Evee – (in reference to the scenario set up) this look like the beginning to a bad joke…
Burke – An Indian shaman and a demon born walk into a church…

Reverend Cheval lives AND summoned an INFERNAL DEMON! And what of the escaped cultist?

Adventure summary 12/4/16

Tonight’s adventure takes up with a fight between The Troubleshooters and the forces of Hellstrom. After the group destroyed the War Wagon, they were left facing an automaton and a manned gyrocopter. Though the automaton’s gatling gun jammed, it popped claws and started (slowly) chasing our heroes about while they pumped bullets into it, all the while dodging the autogyro as it rained down bundles of dynamite upon them. Dakota Joe finally managed to put a bullet into the brain pan of the automaton, severally crippling it. Deciding to leave it to McCloud to finish off, she put a bullet into the autogyro pilot’s brain pan as well, killing the pilot and bringing down the gyro. Joe also finished off the automaton, when McCloud proved unable.

A small party of Union Cavalry scouts arrived to see what all the hubbub was about but arrived to late to be of any service.

With the Dutchman dead, automaton, gyrocopter and war wagon destroyed, the cattle drive continued unmolested towards Camp Hades, Colorado.

While scouting ahead, Joe and McCloud come across a wagon with dead settlers and horse coming from the west toward Camp Hades. Upon inspection Joe determines that they were traveling from the town Coffin Rock due to a token for a theatre located there and clues indicate that they were killed by none other than, Pete Swindon.

So the trouble shooters (well Joe) decide to pursue. Figuring he was headed toward Coffin Rock, by his tracks, the group headed to Camp Hades to catch the train and hopefully get to Coffin Rock ahead of him.

Arriving at Coffin Rock after an uneventful train and horse ride (how often does that happen!) our heroes find a bust mining town. Most of the buildings are burned out, abandoned or unoccupied. The town is obviously cursed or haunted as they keep seeing shadows move, blood stains where none exist, etc. out of the corners of their eyes. McCloud and Joe head to the Saloon to search for Swindon but before they can get there they hear a scream, proclamations of innocence and pleas for help from an abandoned house. Joe rushes to see if she can help against McCloud’s protestations to not get involved. They find an obviously unhinged man holding a gun on several locals. Joe sneaks into the room, gun drawn but tries to reason with the man. He tells her that the local Marshal is accusing him of a murder he didn’t commit, won’t tell him whom he has murdered and locked him up. He says he escaped with the help of a couple of the deputies because one of them was his brother in law. Joe suspects that they let him loose so that the Marshal can hunt him down for fun. The townsfolk confirm that he’s a “take ’em in dead” type lawman. She talks him into giving over his pistol and letting the townsfolk go as it just makes him look guilty. After the townsfolk leave, she takes pity on him and lets him “escape” and her and McCloud continue on to the saloon called “The Six Feet Under”.

Here we find the mayor of Coffin Rock, nursing a whiskey and his time piece expectantly. After buying a drink and questioning the bar keep about Swindon, Joe leaves a couple of Swindons wanted posters with the barkeep, the pair depart for the theatre in town.

Joe and McCloud find the theatre but have no success, as the owner of the theatre does not recall ever having seen Swindon but McCloud is successful in buying a ticket for the nights show and a token for a second free show. Joe has the token she found on Swindon’s victims, so is in no need of a ticket. As the pair leave the theatre, the bell of the church rings one time and a single gunshot is heard immediately after. So Joe and McCloud head down the street to check out the church but while passing the abandoned school house on the way, the wraith of a dead child charges out. The pair, as spooked as the horses quickly escape and meet at the church…

The only quote of the game I can remember:

Bartender: Would you like a drink?
McCloud: No thanks, I’m driving!
Dakota Joe: A “Cattle Drive”!

Quotes 11/20/16

Not a lot in the way of quotes this week, but I got a few good ones.

Bentley – You see smoke signals
Foy/McCloud – (gasps, to Kimi) what are they saying?
Evee/Kimi – you assume that I know?
Foy/McCloud – Well, you’re people are into smoke…
Evee/Kimi – what do you mean ‘my people’? Racist.

Bentley – You’re all welcome here, Ma’am (speaking to DJ), and Sir’s (to McCloud and the professor, before looking at Kimi) you’re kind isn’t welcome here… (out of character) and you see he’s talking to the wolf.

Foy/McCloud – (after taking a few shots) I’ll take another short… the cheap kind. That’s so much smoother.
Burke/DJ – Not really. It’s cheaper and harder to take

Burke/DJ – Oh, they don’t allow animals… McCloud, looks like you gotta wait outside…

Bentley – (in an attempt to talk our way out of more trouble) What we got here… is a problem…
Burke/DJ – Do we have a failure to communicate? (quoted with proper delivery)

Risa – Which one’s Swindon?
Burke – the one in the brown (points to the figure)
Barry – It’s good for him that he’s wearing his brown pants…

Burke – so, the professor is done… well done (after the professor has, yet again, blown him… and half the wall up with one of his crazy and unnatural contraptions)
Evee/Kimi – I told you it would blow up! (unseen from around the corner)

Risa/Maddie – (steps into the doorway, where Kimi is standing) sorry Kimi, duck!
Evee/Kimi – what?

Bentley – (after the false Marshall has been killed, the job is offered to each of the main hero’s) Would you like to be Marshall Miss? (to Maddie)
Risa/Maddie – hmm… well, what exactly does that entail?
Bentley – why, defending our great town from infernal evil
Risa/Maddie – … that may be a conflict of interest

(had a great time!! Everyone have a fantastic Thanksgiving!! See you next Sunday)

The Professor's new remedy

Prof. Mordecai Erasmus Oglethorpe, the 20th day of November in the year 1879, in the company of the troubleshooters on the cattle drive:

Once again, the troubleshooters were triumphant against would-be attackers, intent on our demise. We were able to negotiate our way clear of violence in one instance, successfully communicating to a patrol that it was not worth their lives to attempt to steal a non-functioning piece of technology from perhaps the only person in 500 miles capable of repairing the device. Unfortunately, our subsequent encounter was not so congenial, and we were forced once more to eliminate a mortal threat. Of course, this provided another opportunity to utilize the most recent version of the medicinal Ghost Rock elixir. A further refinement of my original configuration of the elixir, I have added a compound first developed by the gifted German chemist Albert Niemann. I replicated his process of extraction upon Coca leaves native to the mountains of Peru. Historically, these leaves have been used by the indigenous population for thousands of years, the stimulative properties utilized to speed their heart rates and breathing in the high altitudes of the Andes. In more recent years, a number of renowned scientists have had success in developing a number of beneficial applications beyond the primitive religious practices of the Peruvian natives. In the aftermath of the most recent attack, I offered some of the injured ranch hands to choice between the original tablet and a tablet infused with the coca extract. While both versions exhibited the same healing properties, the coca extract yielded the additional benefit of increased alertness and energy, a great benefit on the trail where fatigue and exhaustion can be a hazard not only to individuals but to the herd and the entire drive.

In the days after our last violent encounter, an increasing number of the ranch hands have come to me asking for healing from a wide range of minor maladies…everything from a splinter to a twisted ankle. I believe the hands are seeking the euphoric reaction to the coca extract, and are not truly in need of medical attention. I understand their desire and I can see no harm in providing such a beneficial treatment, as increased alertness and energy on the trail is a desirable outcome. Therefore, I have developed another chewable lozenges consisting of primarily the coca extract. The hands now ask for a “green” or a “red”, depending upon whether they need healing or simply a boost on those long night time watches.

Quotes 11/13/16

Wang Jokes made a very brief comeback (mostly because of the scribes notice of none from the previous week)

Bentley was actually in the lead! With 2
Burke and Risa had one each
Nobody else bothered

Professor – (thinking out loud to himself) hmm… teleportation sounds fun…

The group begins the adventure surrounded by a ridiculous amount of soldiers, we are clearly outnumbered and there is a hope that we may be capable of negotiations, but the Professor makes this much more difficult than it needs to be by refusing to let go of the jet pack that he took from the corpse found in the previous game.
Risa in an attempt to rescue us all plays a card! Reinforcements come to help, surrounding the soldiers and giving us the advantage of outnumbering them! Hah hah! At this moment Evee considers playing her own card… a card that would bring in reinforcements again, but this time for the other team. If only we had reinforcements for the reinforcements! Luckily, everyone (with the exception of Burke who thought it would have been hilarious) talked her out of it.

Burke/DJ – (in an attempt to explain their current situation) We were with the cattle drive when we saw this man fall from the sky…
Professor – Gratuitously… quite gratuitously

Bentley – You run into Uncle Hooton
Burke – Uncle who? Is he an Owl? (He then proceeds to hoot like an owl)

Burke – (while talking about playing ourselves in a zombie apocalypse game, which I STILL say sounds like a super fun night!) It’s not always a good idea, because you got that one guy who thinks he has D12 in smarts. (Turns to Foy, mockingly) Really Foy, you have D12 Smarts?
Foy – (makes a Foy face… do I even have to describe it?) Maybe I do…
Burke – Most guys would get offended (to finish his point)
On a side note, I vote for a zombie game where we play as ourselves! xD

Bentley – You wake up and see crows flying above ominously
Foy/McCloud – (to Risa) Can you call off your friends please?
Professor – Actually, they’re probably hers (points to Kimi)
Evee/Kimi – sorry, apparently I was singing in my sleep…

Burke – (talking about the red shirts horrible notice rolls) they graduated from the Evee school of watch…
Evee – … Hey!

Foy/McCloud – Eh… I’ll go after the nearest target
Bentley – so… the professor? (sounding way too hopeful)
Foy/McCloud – Heh… no
Bentley – Aww (again, sounding way too disappointed)

Foy/McCloud – McCloud has that 2rd leg going on, huh? (nudges Evee and winks)
Evee/Kimi – Ugh, I hope that’s not what you’re touching me with (scoots away)

Foy/McCloud – That’s right, I’m her Kryptonite (talking about Kimi, per usual) wait, is that a good or a bad thing?
Evee/Kimi – I think it depends on who you ask…
Burke/DJ – I think everyone but you would say a bad thing

Risa rolls double ones…
Foy/McCloud – she’s going to become possessed isn’t she?
Evee/Kimi – yes… and you’re right next to her. Aren’t her green eyes pretty… and glowing?

(I know I’m cutting it kinda close with quotes this week, but I got them up! See you in a couple hours! Evee)

The professor on the trail

Professor Mordecai Erasmus Oglethorpe, 14th day of November 1879, in the company of the troubleshooters:

Our most recent incident in which we encountered yet another attack from an unseemingly endless plethora of foes and attackers, I was once again able to put to the test the medicinal and healing properties of Ghost Rock. While my original configuration of the elixir proved to be perhaps too strong for some, particularly those with less hearty constitutions, the addition of bismuth and a small amount of sarsaparilla seemed to be sufficient to sooth the gastrointestinal distress experience by some of my former patients. In addition, I was able to successfully produce a more portable tablet form comprised of the admixture made more palatable with the addition of black strap molasses and cane sugar.

While my fellow troubleshooters are yet reluctant to utilize the medicinal and healing properties of these newly developed medicines, and number of the Hands were more than grateful as they suffered some grievous wounds during the last encounter. It is my hope to continue development along this line of biological research. To this end, I have tasked Socrates with contacting some of my colleagues in order to have some ingredients shipped to Roswell, enabling me to explore other possibilities.


I'm sorry, but we no longer support this web browser. Please upgrade your browser or install Chrome or Firefox to enjoy the full functionality of this site.